Based on the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, the sandwich generation is defined as “a generation of people who are caring for their aging parents while supporting their own children.” Life in the middle is often a balancing act: caring for elderly parents, tending to the needs of children, focusing on career and spending quality time with a spouse. As a result, caregivers find little time to tend to themselves, leading to poor health, depression, and burnout, to name a few.
Some signs of burnout are the following:
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Poor sleep (sleeping too much or too little)
- Frequent feelings of irritability, anger and/or sadness
- Significant changes in weight (gain or loss)
- Loss of joy in things you once enjoyed
- A decline in your own physical health
If you begin to experience some of these symptoms, know when to ask for help. Asking for help is difficult for some because of the negative thoughts associated with this act: “If I ask for help, it means I can’t handle this.” “I don’t want to bother anyone.” “If I want it done right, I’ll have to do it myself.” A common statement I have my clients ponder is “If you don’t take care of yourself, how well can you take care of those around you?” Asking for help is one way to practice self-care. A decline in your physical health would restrict you further from being a beneficial caregiver; being in a state of constant irritability or sadness would only increase the stress of those around you.
Take time to educate yourself on the resources available to you within your community. Some people don’t have the advantage of extended family to assist in the caregiving responsibilities of an elderly parent. There are some agencies that provide respite care for the elderly.
Spend quality time with loved ones- quality time means not talking about problems or reviewing your “to do” list with them. Ask your children about their day, take time to hold hands and share soft kisses with your spouse, reminisce on happy memories with your parents.
Most importantly, remember to take care of yourself. Spend at least 10 minutes a day doing something you find enjoyable, whether that is listening to a favorite song, having a pleasant conversation with someone, taking a stroll down the block on a sunny day or anything else you find pleasant.
If you find that this balancing act is too overwhelming, consider seeking professional help through a therapist. Remember that the only thing that’s guaranteed is now. Living life in constant stress only takes away from cherished moments with loved ones and the joys life offers us on a daily basis.
Here are a couple of websites that provide some helpful information on the elderly and aging:
Administration on Aging
http://www.aoa.gov/AoARoot/Index.aspx
Family Caregiver Alliance
http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/home.jsp