The recent and unexpected death of Robin Williams has sparked discussion regarding depression and mental illness overall. Common statements I often hear about suicide and depression are “He’s just lazy.” “Suicide is the coward’s way out.” “He’s looking for attention.” These statements come from a place of hurt, anger and perhaps even a lack of understanding. Loved ones who are left behind end up picking up the pieces to try and understand what led to the decision of suicide. “He had a great life, why would he kill himself?” We often try to make sense of something that has no logic at all.
Depression is a dark veil that covers the entire life of its victim, resulting in a distorted view of the world. Depression tells its victims that they are not loveable; they have no worth; they are not deserving of happiness; they will always feel sad; they deserve to die; they are all alone; no one can help them; there is no other solution other than death. Although it is obvious to us that these messages are false, inside the mind of the depressed these messages are replayed over and over, which makes it more and more difficult to deny that these messages may in fact be truth.
Many factors can play a role in its development; the perfect combination of genetics, environment, and brain chemistry can result in debilitating depression and sometimes even suicide. Because of the stigma that surrounds mental illness many people choose to go untreated. This choice, of course, is understandable when we are constantly surrounded with messages of “He’s just looking for attention”, “He’s lazy”, “Counseling is only for crazy people; you’re not crazy”. Lack of professional care may sometimes lead to self-medicating, resulting in drug and alcohol addiction on top of mental illness.
The following are a few signs to help determine if you or your loved one should seek professional help:
• Talk of suicide. “I wish I were dead.” “I wish I were never born.”
• Having a plan of how to commit suicide.
• Having the means to commit suicide such as access to weapons, pills, or other harmful items.
• Changes in sleep patterns, either sleeping too much or not sleeping enough.
• Changes in appetite, either eating more or rarely eating.
• Feelings of hopelessness.
• Increased isolation.
• Abuse of alcohol and/or drugs.
• Saying goodbye to people as though they will never be seen again.
• Giving away belongings with no apparent reason for doing so.
People often feel helpless when they see their loved ones struggling with depression. The most important thing you can do is be patient; depression is a difficult illness to overcome. Because lack of motivation and hopelessness is a common symptom among the depressed, it may take a long time to see any improvement in mood. Listen to them, provide positive reinforcement, and educate yourself on depression so you can gain a better understanding of the battle that your loved one is fighting. Above all else, encourage your loved one to seek professional help. Being a good friend or family member is not sufficient replacement for the help provided by a therapist or psychiatrist. Don’t minimize the warning signs; depression can have lethal consequences. It’s better to risk making your loved one angry at you for erring on the side of caution rather than losing him forever.
Here are some helpful resources regarding depression and suicide:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)